Last Minute Gifts for the Hoochie You Met on Match.com

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Here are some last minute gifts for that girl you met on match.com. You know the one you've been taking to out-of -the-way restaurants, getting loaded, and sloppily banging.

hoops.jpg
How about these hoop earrings? You'll love the way they dangle below her frosted locks.


















scrunchie.jpgScrunchies! Scrunchies! Scrunchies! We love em, especially when they support our flag.
















manicure.jpgEvery girls hands looks better wrapped around your rod when they're painted up porno-style in a French manicure.










shoes.jpgWouldn't these look great kicking it on the dance floor, or soles-up to your ceiling?















trojans.jpgAnd finally since you never know how many guys have replied to her online profile, or how many schlongs she's been stuffing up her cooch, give her condoms. Trojan, economy pack, wear 3! But count them when she's in the bathroom pooping.
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